We will meet again at the Heaven's Gate

I have to at least compose myself together before I get to type this post. (It was never easy) A week ago, I lost the most precious person in my life.

It was a totally normal Monday with Ibu, as usual we went to work together, we even get to have a deep conversation. Its been a week that she told me to go home alone as she was sick and during that point of time, I have already missed her and feeling lonely going home alone. During dinner, we still had a chance to talk about the holiday that she have been mentioning, had a good laugh with her until at 10pm she started to cough blood.

It happen so fast that I’m glad I was there with her during her last breath, holding her hand asking her to grip my hand if she still can hear me but there was no response. I feel like my whole world crashed down upon me, empty and half of me is dead. The only thing that I remember clearly was she just said “Mirah, Ibu da tak boleh nafas. Mirah jaga diri baik-baik tau” The feeling of bringing her home for the last time, to hold her hand for the last time, to look at the face that gave birth to me for the last time… I wished this was a dream.

I have to redha with Ibu’s passing. It is all written by Him, we cannot fight our fate and I strongly believe that things happened for a reason. I just feel that the times that we spend together was never enough and the achievement in our life will never be complete without her. But then again, I am really glad that I only hear good things about Ibu from her friends/relative and I get to know more about Ibu which she doesn’t really tell us.

Truthfully, Ibu’s passing was a shock to everyone and it taught me a lot of lessons, to be humble even with your family, to be kind to everyone and be sincere in everything that you do. Life is too short that our death is the biggest secret that only Allah knows.

Ibu, I will never forget all your advices and your wishes. I will keep you in my doa and I will make you proud, In Sha Allah. No one will ever replace you and your love. I miss you so much every single day and forever I will. In Sha Allah, we will reunite in the hereafter. I love you Ibu :’(