Love, N: Makkah Al Mukkarammah

Hi everyone! Sorry that I took time to post the continuation to the previous post.

On the 24th Dec, we prepare ourselves for our Umrah journey to Mecca. We reached Mecca about 9pm and from afar, we could see the Safaa Tower and by the sight of it, I'm already feeling nervous. At 11pm after our late dinner, we make our way to Masjidil Al-Haram to do our Umrah which is only 5 minutes away from our hotel. There were so many things that was going on in my head like, what if I do it wrongly? Or what if something that will happen to me when I'm inside. I can't help with the thoughts but I keep reminding myself to calm down.

Since there were construction works that was going on in the mosque, only certain gates that allow us to go to the first level to do our tawwaf. When I first laid my eyes at the Kaabah, Ya Allah, I wish I could describe the feeling but truthfully there is NO word that could. I pray that everyone will get the opportunity to experience the feeling. Insha Allah, amin!

Do you guys know that every prayer in Medinah and Mecca, we will always perform jenazah prayer. This reminds me of this line, "When we are born the Adhan is recited but no prayer is performed. When we die, no Adhan is recited but prayer is performed. This is because the Adhan of your birth belongs to the prayer of your death. And that's how short life is"

After a full day of resting, we went sight seeing of the Mecca city. 'Arafah which is also known as Jabal Rahmah is a special place. A place where Nabi Adam a.s and Siti Hawa first met on earth after they were sent away from heaven. It's also a place where pilgrimage will gather for wukuf during the Hajj.

At the top of Jabal Rahmah, we could see Masjid Namirah. And here's a story how I get my name; My late mum was only 3 months pregnant with me when my parents was performing their Hajj and so they decided to name me after the mosque. Most of the places around 'Arafah is closed since they open specially for Hajj period only. The place is filled with so much serenity and it really meant a lot to me. Not because of the name but my mum used to tell me about her experience during Hajj and it's like I get what she meant now, trying to relived the moments.

Masjid Namirah

I love it when Ustadz shared with us the story behind all the places that we visited. Ahhhh, I really love the history of Islam!!!

For our night activity, we hiked up Jabal Nur. The journey to the starting point is so steep that we had to take a small van to go up. The hike wasn't as easy as I thought due to the cold wind and my fear of heights. (The last time I hiked up a mountain was 6 years ago. Now my knees are weak hahaha) But then I remembered how Khadijah, the wife of our Rasulullah went up the mountain everyday to send food and that reminds me not to give up. The view of the city from the peak of Jabal Nur is perfectly beautiful and the brightest place that we could see from up there was Masjidil Al-Haram. We also managed to squeeze the tiny cave to go to Gua Hira although it was packed with humans.

The next day we visited Haramain Museum where they kept photos, old artifacts and parts of the two mosque, Masjid Al-Nabawi and Masjidil Al-Haram.

The old zamzam well

In the old days, they use this to tell the prayer time

Sadly, we finally came to our last day for the trip and we had to do our tawwaf wida (something like saying our goodbye). We couldn't get to go to the first level as it was closed and it was really heart breaking because once we are done with our tawwaf, we weren't allowed to pray in the mosque or even have a sight of the Kaabah :(

This Umrah journey was really unexpected for me but it was a sweet memoir to end my 2017. This was one of my late mum's wish and I'm so relieved that I get to do this although it will be much better if we get to go through it together.

Through out my time in Mecca, I felt this loneliness that I never felt before and I broke down every single time just by the thought of being alone. I pray so hard to Him to get me out of the loneliness and pray that I will never ever feel this way anymore. I don't know how but now, I feel much better, I didn't get attached to something or someone easily (esp Hafedz) alhamdulillah. I constantly remind myself that sometimes, it's ok to be alone, to be by yourself even if you're in a room filled with so many people. And at the end of my life, I will be alone. Just me facing Him.

It's going to be a month since I came back but I'm already terribly missing the place. I couldn't wait to be back, to detach myself from the dunya. I wish I could just eat, pray and sleep. Insha Allah, I will be back, with my own family this time.